Inner child...

Today, I chanelled my inner child. I know, I know that sounds so cliche, but it's true.  Hands in the dirt, feet caked with mud, digging, planting... I had forgotten how peaceful it is. When I was a kid I stayed outside all day and into the night to play with the lightening bugs. It's kind of ironic that as a kid, making mud-pies was my favorite thing to do and now my profession is making art with mud.  I told my grandma once when I was about 4 years old while she was weeding her garden that when I grow up, I wanted to be a dirt-worker just like her... It's funny that I can still mortify my mother with my clay sculptures sort of the same way she couldn't understand why I would put my earth and worm creations on a dish and place them in the refridgerator for her.  Today, I reconnected to why working with clay is so zen like for me. Having my hands in clay or mud is not only a viseral experience, but a direct connection to our far past ancestors. At the risk of sounding hokey, I felt them today. Later, when I sat on the deck as the sun began to set, listening to the birds sing and feeling the chill of the coming night, I was more peacful than I had been in a very long time.   

See it...Feel it.

  "Why don't you just make things that you know will sell?" --This is the most infuriating question asked often by my non-artist relations...I am sure every artist has the person that you want more than anything to understand and feel what you are trying to say, but all you get in return is "Why don't you just make happy art?" or "I saw this (fill in the blank) the other day and you could totally make these and actually sell A LOT..."
      My response is--Because it is not honest. It is not me. I will not compromise my most cherished emotions and visions to make a copy of some other person's idea just because it will sell.  To me the creative process from the beginning spark to the fruition is if far more valuable than any of the finished pieces. Yes, in the end there is a hope that this thing I have created and I choose to share connects with some other human. And an added bonus would be that they feel strongly enough to buy it and take it home. If any person takes the time to try to understand the artwork and the artist they will have a reaction, good or bad.  Everyone brings their own baggage in viewing art, so they will have their own experience and connection with my sculptures, paintings, and pots, not everyone will "get" what I was trying to say, and that's okay.  As long as they take the time to actually see it, not just dismiss what I pour my heart and soul into because they don't want to confront the emotions that my artwork might stir up.
       I send these finished pieces out in the world with my raw vulnerability and uncertainty that anyone will care, but when someone does, I feel connected to humanity as a whole. Art should not be a bragging right for the rich, an object that brings out the color of your couch, or just a thing to make money. Art is a nonverbal communication between people. I want to make someone stop, think, and feel something...it's okay if it is not happy.